It's Saturday night, and I just came back from a friend's birthday dinner. I excused myself to come back home early because I've got to work tomorrow morning, but my heart is aching to be somewhere else. Here I am lying in bed, headphones on, listening to BT's Movement in Still Life album as loud as my eardrums can possibly stand. BT is in town and performing at Godskitchen tonight and I'm not there to see, hear, dance to, and feel his music performed live.BT is the most amazing artiste. He's not your run-of-the-mill trance remix DJ. He doesn't even call himself a DJ at all. He was trained in classical music and his compositions have that element which is missing in many modern electronic artistes' work. The tracks are layered with such complexity that even after repeated listenings, you'd still pick out new things in the music you've never heard before. His albums are structured like symphonies with movements that flow from one to the next. While there are a few 'hit' tracks, each album is meant to be listened to as a whole. As I listen to him tonight, my mind drifts back to the last time I saw him live at Two Tribes 2000 at the docklands. I went alone because none of my friends wanted to go, but I was determined to see the genius at work. I wasn't disappointed. I had the most amazing time and while his performance lasted only a scant hour or so, it was definitely the highlight of the night and I was euphoric. Which brings us back to the present day. I've been contemplating going to Godskitchen for weeks now, even trying to swap my Sunday shift just so I could go tonight without having to worry about being wasted the next day, but that didn't work out. Tickets are not exactly cheap, but there's an impressive line-up performing, thought personally I think BT is worth the admission alone. I already missed his previous trip to Australia a couple of years ago, and was really looking forward to this one. Who knows when's the next time I'd be able to attend a live gig of his? I really, really want to be there, and the thought of just going to Godskitchen and not showing up for work did cross my mind, but the sensible side of my tells me I ought to sleep tonight and go to work in the morning. Even though technically they can't fire me because I've already resigned, I figured I rather leave on good terms in case I ever need references. If only BT was playing next weekend, I'd be there without any hesitation. My heart aches while I lie here, imagining what I'd be doing if I had went. With this I drift off to sleep...

Missing Out